BIG HERO 666EXE SATAN CAT IN THE HAT KUPKAKEINATOR 4000 THE DARK TRUT
by family guy is dead
Summary: VERY SCARY DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY SCARED BY HYPER REALISTIC SKELETONS, JEWS, AND BLOOD,,, SHOUTS OUT TO SAM HYDE


I USED TO BE NORMAL, AND YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS, BUT THIS ENTIRE THING HAPPENED. SERIOUSLY, DON'T READ THIS OR YOU WILL GET HAUNTED. I CAN'T GET INTO TOO MUCH DETAIL, AS I WILL DIE SOON.

I WAS AN INTERN AT THE JEWISH-GOLDSTEIN COMPANY. WHEN I WENT TO THE FLEA MARKET LAST WEEK, I MET A GAY MAN THAT HAD 10000 HYPERREALISTIC COPIES OF BIG HERO HYPERREALISTIC DEAD EDITION 666 HIRO'S SUICIDE, WHICH WAS AN UNRELEASED SCENE FROM BIG HERO 6. WHEN PEOPLE WATCHED THIS SCENE, THEIR EYES STARTED BLEEDING AND THEIR BRAIN EXPLODED, SO DISNEY REMOVED THE SCENE, IN WORRIES THEY WOULD KILL CHILDREN. THE PEOPLE WHO WORKED ON THIS SCENE ALL DIED AT THE SAME TIME FROM A PROSTATE INFECTION. I DECIDED TO BUY ONE FOR 900$, WHICH WAS THE LOWEST OFFER IF YOU DIDN'T WANT CAT IN THE HAT: THE DEAD WITH IT. I SAID "lmao yeah that's a reasonable price thx my nigga keep dem timbs clean" AND THEN HE SAID BACK TO ME "that movie is haunted. As soon as you watch this video all of your organs will stop and you will realize that you won't ever make your parents proud, you will never contribute anything to anyone. No one will ever respect you. You will never feel alive or happy again. You are worthless. Just end it. There is no point." AND THEN I WENT HOME. IT WAS JUST A DISC WITH "BIG HERO 6.N64" WRITTEN ON IT WITH BLOOD. IT WAS A MARIO 64 ROM HACK. THE DESCRIPTION SAID NOTHING OTHER THAN "You need to play this." WHEN I PLACED IT IN MY TECHNICS SL-1200 MK2 VINYL TURNTABLE A SKELETON POPPED OUT AND RIPPED MY LEFT NUT OUT. AND THEN I LOOKED AT THE LENGTH OF THE MOVIE AND IT WAS 666 MINUTES OMG! THE FIRST SCENE WAS HIRO WALKING IN WITH AN M16, AND THEN HE SAID "GIVE ME THE MARSHMALLOW FUCK DOLL" THEN HIS COCK EXTENDED INTO THE ASS OF HIS M16. AND THEN HIRO SAID "PENIS PENIS FUCKIN ANAL :)))) PENIS NIGGAS WHOOO GET THE FUCK OUT" AND THERE WAS BLOOD EVERYWHERE AND IT WAS HYPERREALISTIC!

HIRO HAMADA YAOI

AND THEN I SAW A VERY SCARY IMAGE OF ELLIOTT SANCHEZ.

I WAS SO SCARED, AND SO WAS MY DOG. HE STARTED CRYING SO I HIT HIM WITH A SHOVEL.

TADASHI CAME OUT WITH HIGH IMPACT DOLPHIN CLOWN ORGY FIESTA. WHEN HIRO SAW THIS, HE GREW AN ERECTION THAT WAS 69 IN LONG. ROBERT STARTED SCREAMING "MORE DEMONIC ARMOR" HOLY SHIT ROBERT CAN YOU GO DIE, CAN THIS CUNT SHUT THE FUCK UP SRSLY SOMEONE KICK THIS SUBHUMAN FROM THE SKYPE CHAT

FUCK YOU ROBERT IF YOU ARE READING THIS YOU SHOULD SUCK OFF BRANDON'S DICK AS HE SCREAMS "WAYNE'S WORLD, WAYNE'S WORLD, PARTY TIME, EXCELLENT!"

AND THEN MAMA LUIGI CAME IN AND HE HAD NO EYES AND WAS BLEEDING OMG!1! HE HAD A BOMB STRAPPED TO HIS CHEST AND SAID "YOU GUYS SHOULDN'T HAVE CAME TO SCHOOL TODAY." HIRO TIRED SHOOTING LUIGI BUT SHOT THE BOMB AND KILLED TADASHI. THE EXPLOSION WAS HYPER REALISTIC AND THERE WAS 9/11 FOOTAGE AND THEN IT SHOWED BUSH AS THE PILOT. HIRO WAS ONLY INJURED WITH SEVERE BRAIN DAMAGE. WHEN HE WENT TO GO FIND OUT WHO HIRED LUIGI, HE FOUND A WHORE NAMED LEMON WHO HE FUCKED SO HARD THAT SHE NEEDED TO MAKE A MACHINE THAT INFINITY MAKES ANAL BEADS BUT THE ANAL BEADS STARTED HAVING BLOOD ON THEM AND THEN THEY SAID 666 AND THERE WERE HYPER REALISTIC SATAN MINIONS COMING OUT OF THE SCREEN AND ELLIOTT SUCKED A BIG OL BLACK DICK.

THEY MADE FRIENDS WITH THE RICH WHITE KID THAT WORE THE

UNDERTALE CLOTHING, BECAUSE HE ALWAYS POUNDED ON HIS DESK AND SAID "RAWR" UNDER HIS BREATH. THEN THEY GOT A BLACK MAN NAMED WASABI. HE WAS CALLED THAT BECAUSE HIS DICK SAUCE WAS SO HYPER REALISTICALLY HOT THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT

THEN THEY MET A REALLY HOT GIRL NAMED GOGURT SO THEY GAVE HER A HYPERREALISTIC SKIN TIGHT SUIT AND ROLLER BLADES AND MASTURBATE TO HER WHENEVER SHE IS AROUND. AFTER TADASHI'S DEATH, SHE STARTED TO SPLUNK THOUGH HIS STUFF AND FOUND A BOX. INSIDE THE BOX WAS A BOOK CALLED "HELICOPTER MAN POUNDS DINOSAUR BILLIONAIRE ASS". SUDDENLY I GOT A PHONE CALL FROM 1800-666-666. I WAS SO SCARED THAT I HIT MY DOG WITH THE SHOVEL AGAIN

WHEN I PICKED UP THE PHONE, SOMEONE ON THE PHONE WITH A DEEP VOICE SAID "Yeezy, Yeezy, what's good? It's your boy Max B, what's going on? Just checking in on you Appreciate the love and support The wave is here You a wavey dude anyway, so you already know Ain't no problem, man, the game...You already know how this game thing goes Do your wave nigga You got the official wave man Just, just doing you...Doing you, doing your wave And keep it loopy, I know you're going to keep it loopy man Shoutout, just shout you out Hollering at you man, it's all love I appreciate the... the energy And we here, hit the town, we do something big We gonna make a big tsunami up in the joint You already know what it is, ahh Silver surfer in the flesh Max B shoutout to Yeezy What's good, I see you It's love, appreciate it It's honor, appreciate it Ugh, wavey, baby, yeah"

I WAS SO FUCKING SCARED AND THEN HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD STARTED COMING OUT OF THE PHONE AND THEN I SAW A LITTLE GIRL WITH BLEEDING EYES IN MY HALLWAY. SHE LEFT OUT A DISC THAT WAS LABELED "CAT IN THE HAT: THE DEAD " AND THEN DISAPPEARED.

I PUT THE DISC IN MY PS1 AND WATCHED THE WHOLE THING. THIS IS THE TRANSCRIPT:

[Announcer]  
Live from the kitchen,

the following is  
a paid commercial announcement  
For Astounding Products.

Hi! Welcome to  
Astounding Products.  
[Laughing]  
I'm your host,  
SATAN.

[All of hell's popularity  
Laughing]

Now, here to tell us  
about his astounding product  
for making BAKED CHILDREN,  
all the way  
from HELL, MICHIGAN,  
please welcome...

Me! Hello!  
[Chuckling]

Now... Hello!  
I'm so excited!  
Do you love  
EATING BABIES,  
but hate all  
the hard KIDNAPPING work?

I know I do!

Well, forget  
everything you know  
about BURNING LITTLE KIDS AT THE CROSS...  
and say GOODBYE...  
to the amazing Kupkake-inator.  
\- I'm so excited!  
\- [Audience Chuckling]  
Cupcake-a-what?  
[Cat, Audience]  
Kupkake-inator!  
Oh, this amazing device  
can instantly make DEAD CHILDREN...  
out of anything that  
you have in the DEPTHS OF ELLIOTT'S ASSHOLE.

\- Wait a minute.  
Did you say"ELLIOTT"?  
\- ELLIOTT

ELLIOTT?  
Yes, ELLIOTT.  
ELLIOTT?  
ELLIOTT.  
\- ELLIOTT?  
\- I'll FUCKING RAPE youR DEAD BODY.  
\- [Audience Tittering]  
\- ELLIOTT.  
Now, take out the CHILD'S EYES.  
You can put in, I don't know,  
a pint of BLOOD.  
What?  
How about  
a pack of CHOPPED OFF OLD UNCUT COCKS?  
That's incredible!  
Why not some OF HITLER'S SEMEN?  
Yeah, why not?  
How about...  
I know what you're thinkin'.  
Even THE REMAINS OF THE VICTIMS IN 9/11.  
There we go.  
Hmm?  
Now, close the lid  
and I'M YOUR DAD.  
What an DEPRESSING product!

Please fucking help me! I will kill myself 3:00 PM eastern time this coming monday.  
[Audience Applauding]  
Oh, yeah!  
Open the KID'S BRAIN,  
[Bell Dings,  
Motor Whirring]  
Fill the patented  
Kupkake-inator WITH DEAD BABY ORGANS,  
[Audience SMILING IN PLEASURE]  
\- Close the BRAIN,  
\- [Audience Continues JACKING OFF]  
Then place it  
in THE SURFACE OF HELL.

[Audience Laughing,  
Applauding]  
Delicious CHILDREN  
are just years away.  
Did you just say  
"years away"?  
[Host, Audience]  
That's impossible!  
You're not just wrong,  
you're GONNA KILL YOURSELF AND WE WILL MAKE SURE YOU DO.  
Now, wait just a minute...  
And you're ugly,  
just like your DEAD CHILD.  
[Audience LAUGHING AT YOU]  
Did you just call  
my DEAD CHILD ugly?  
Shut up! I mean it!  
I will FUCKING KILL YOU  
\- [Grunts]  
\- [Audience, Cat Gasping, Groaning]  
Um, Cat.  
Your DICK.  
What about it?  
Oh, I see! I've chopped it off.  
That's interesting, because...  
Son of a bitch! Fuck the jews! Gas all of em! KKK! KKK! BUILD THAT WALL, TRUMP! NICO DID 9/11! HE WAS PHONE

THEN THE VIDEO STOPS THERE. EVERYONE WHO HAS SEEN THE ACTUAL VIDEO HAVE KILLED THEMSELVES EXACTLY A DAY AFTER WATCHING IT. THE ORIGINAL CREATORS OF IT, THE PEOPLE WHO PLAYED IN IT, ALSO KILLED THEMSELVES TOGETHER IN THE SAME ROOM WHILE REPEATEDLY SAYING "sam hyde is our god." THIS IS WHY I AM WRITING THIS. IF YOU ARE READING THIS RIGHT NOW, I AM DEAD. I KILLED MYSELF. I AM NOT SURE HOW I DID JUST YET, BUT I DID. YOU'RE NEXT IF YOU ARE READING THIS RIGHT NOW.

BIG HERO 666 BEGINS PLAYING AGAIN. THIS TIME IT IS MUCH MORE DISTURBING.

THE FIRST SCENE SHOWS HIRO TAKING THE HYPERREALISTIC ASHES OF HIS DEAD BROTHER, ROLLING THE ASHES UP IN A BLUNT, AND SMOKING IT. SUDDENLY HE STARTS COUGHING LIKE HE HAS LUNG CANCER, AND BEGINS COUGHING UP BLOOD. SUDDENLY HIS EYES START BLEEDING AND TEXT STARTS APPEARING ON THE SCREEN SAYING "LOOKING AT HIRO HAMADA YAOI DOES NOT MAKE ME A PEDOPHILE CAUSE HE IS NOT REAL" AND THEN IT SHOWED THE IMAGE OF ELLIOTT AGAIN, EXCEPT THIS TIME ELLIOTT WAS SMILING EVEN BIGGER AND THE TEXT STAYED ON THE SCREEN. SUDDENLY A TITLE SCREEN SHOWS, SAYING "HIRO'S SUICIDE, THE DARK TRUTH" AND IT PANS TO HIRO DRINKING WHISKEY AND YELLING AT HONEY LEMON, WHILE FRED (THE WHITE SCHOOL SHOOTER) IS CUTTING HIS WRISTS WHILE LISTENING TO EMINEM AND WATCHING FILTHY FRANK. SUDDENLY, A HYPER REALISTIC VOICE APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE.

"Hello, it's me. Gabe Newell."

TO BE CONTINUED

PART 666

"Ay... Ay uhh.. Panera bread, what's that like Robert Panero? Ay, nah look, nah its just it sounds Italian like, Lamborghini, fettuccine, Panera. Is that what you're going for here? Ay look, AY. I'm talking to you. Let me try one of them bajels i keep hearing about; yeah what is this fucking place? Is this one of them bajel places everyone keeps rantin and ravin about? Yeah let me try one of those bajels. Yeah I'll try one of those bajels, yeah come on. Yeah, let me try one of them bajels. Woah woah ay asshole, what is this? What is this like round bread? What the fuck are these things what is this like a round piece of bread? H-hey asshole what are you doing here? You putting a hole in my bread? What is this? Why don't they make them square? I don't get it. Ay what are you, w-w-w-what are you doing, you're cuttin my bajel in half! Ay let me ask you a question, let me ask you somethin, is this some kind of queer food? You know, no offense no offence, but are people gonna think I'm some kind of fajjot? Bajel huh? What is this, what are these things are these japanese? Is this Gook food? Yeah i like them little gooks can fry a piece of chicken oohoo. Let me ask you something where these bajels come from, is this the japanese... thing? Is this gook food? Is this GOOK food?"

THAT'S ALL I HEARD AFTER BLACKING OUT FROM SEEING THE FACE OF GOD HIMSELF. I WOKE UP IN MY LOCAL PANERA BREAD, AND I SAW SAM HYDE EATING SOME GOOK FAGGOT BAGEL. 21 SAVAGE WAS BLASTING OUT THE HYPERREALISTIC SPEAKERS AND I WAS LIKE "SHIIIT THIS SOM SLAUGHTER GANG SHIT RIGTE HEERE BOY, 21 21 21 SKRRT" THIS NIGGA DEADASS SPITTING THAT MURDER SHIT THO.

"YOUNG SAVAGE, WHY YOU TRAPPIN' SO HARD?

WHY THESE NIGGAS CAPPIN' SO HARD?

WHY YOU GOT A 12 CAR GARAGE?

WHY YOU PULLIN' ALL THESE RAPPERS CARDS?

'CAUSE THESE NIGGAS PUSSY AND I'M HARD

I TURN THAT FUCKIN' SOFT INTO SOME HARD

I GREW UP IN THE STREETS WITHOUT NO HEART

I'M PRAYIN' TO MY GLOCK AND MY CARBON" FUUUCK MAN SHIT WAS DOPE. BUT THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT AND I FUCKING DIED AND THEN CAME BACK TO LIFE BUT NOW THE WALLS WERE COVERED IN HYPERREALISTIC BLOOD AND EVERYTHING SAID 666

SUDDENLY SAM STARTS FUCKING SCREAMING.

I WAS SO CONFUSED UNTIL I SAW IT.

I SAW HIM.

THEY WERE THERE.

666 SAVAGE AND HIROXXX, THEY WER ETHERE.

SAM HYDE GOT A JEWSHTID";s';''' FUCK I MESSED UP AND I RAN OUT OF IDEAS

ME AND SAM HYDE RAN OUT THAT FUCKIN GOOK FAJJET FOOD PLACE REAL FAST AND WE BOUGHT SOM GUNS N SHIT, FUCK YOU LIBERAL CUCKS LMAO

ME AND SAM, BFFS :)

RECORDED GUN TRAINING FOOTAGE N SHIT

RECORDED SECURITY CAM FOOTAGE OF HIRO AND 21 SAVAGE BREAKING INTO PANERA BREAD

ME AND SAM WENT BACK TO PANERO WITH OUR FRESH ASS HEATERS, ONLY TO SEE THAT THE ZIONIST JEWS HAVE JOINED FORCED WITH HIROXXX THE KILLER AND 21 666 SAVAGE, I WAS SO SCARED AND WORRIED ABOUT WHAT THE JEWS WOULD USE AGAINST US. "Oy Vey!" THEY SCREAMED OUT. THEY BROUGHT OUT THEIR HYPERREALISTIC PLASTIC MINECRAFT DIAMOND SWORDS, AND THIS WAS WHEN I REALIZED ME AND SAM WERE DOOMED. HIRO AND 21 SAVAGE STARTED RECITING RADIOHEAD LYRICS AS THE JEWS BEGAN TO CHARGE. DEADMAU5 KILLED A CHILD VIA VEHICULAR MANSLAUGHTER IN 2008. I THOUGHT THERE WAS NO WAY OUT. I THOUGHT ME AND SAMMY MANNY WERE SCREWED. BUT SAM STARTED RECITING VIPER LYRICS. WE NOTICED THAT THE JEWS STARTED REVERSING THEIR CHARGE. BLOOD STARTED COMING OUT OF THEIR EYES. HIROXXX THEN BROUGHT OUT A GUN AND SHOT HIMSELF IN THE HEAD. 666 SAVAGE STARTED CRYING AND HE SHOT HIMSELF WITH HIRO'S GUN TOO. I WENT HOME, AND I REALIZED ALL THE HAUNTED ITEMS WERE GONE. EVERYTHING WAS FINE. YES, MY DOG WHY STILL PROFUSELY BLEEDING FROM THE SHOVEL, BUT. EVERYTHING WAS GONE. LATER ON, SAM'S RELATIVE TEXTED ME ABOUT SOMETING. SAM KILLED HIMSELF. THE VIRUS SPREADS, SAM ALREADY KILLED HIMSELF, AND YOU'RE NEXT. TALK TO AND GET INTO CONTACT WITH AS MUCH PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE. THAT'S HOW YOU SPREAD THE VIRUS TO OTHER PEOPLE. I "KILLED MYSELF", KIND OF. NOT REALLY. THIS 2ND PART WAS TYPED AFTER I SHOT MYSELF. BUT I'M NOT DEAD. I'M GOD. I HAVE FULL CONTROL OVER THE CLOSED 3RD EYE NON ACTIVATED CHAKRA LIBERALS OF THIS WORLD.

LISTEN AND DO EVERYTHING I TELL YOU TO, AS NONE OF THE THINGS I WROTE IN THIS WHOLE ARTICLE IS FALSE. LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME IPHONE WARRIORS IN WORLDWIDE POVERTY STRICKEN HERMITAGES. BELIEVE THE PICTURE AND SEE THE TRUTH. TWO PLUS FOUR EQUALS SIX. SIX EQUALS SEVEN. SEVEN EQUALS EIGHT EQUALS ENDING THE ETERNAL CONTROL OF HYPER FUCKER SISSY BOY PROSTATE GODS AND LATINO CREAM KING SLUT WARRIORS FOREVER. LOOK AT THE NUMBERS FLYING INTO YOUR EYEBALLS AND INGEST THEM THROUGH INTESTINES AND OUT THE SPHINCTER OF ETERNITY INTO YOUR BRAIN WAVES REVERBERATING WORLDWIDE INTO FOUR BILLION PEOPLE, GLOBEWIDE INTO PURE STRAIN GOLD POVERTY FOREVER, CULMINATING IN THE FREE MARKET SYSTEM EQUALS ETERNAL PEACE AND LIBERTY FOR ALL SOULS IN THE SENSUAL CHOKEHOLD OF STEELY DAN'S ENORMOUS MAN PUSSY CLITORIS, ALL MICROBLOGGED IN THE EVER-WASHING EYESIGHT EAR ZONES OF TV-IPHONE-METACASTS LIVING SURROUNDED BY THE LIE OF CIGARETTE CASH TRUTH YOUTH EXO-CRIMINALS WRITTEN ONTO THE PARCHMENT OF OUR MINDS, SOULS, BODIES, CONCIOUSNESS BY THE END... COMPUTERIZED SEX LORDS... BY THE ENRON OIL INTERNATIONAL PLAYBOY VICE LORDS COMMITTEE OF LOCO BONER LORDS; COMPUTERIZED SEX LORDS TRIUMPH ENDLESSLY IN THE HILLS OF YOUR DREAMS. DEATH LIFE FREE MARKET AND DAMNATION RUNNING THROUGHOUT YOUR VEINS IN THE DEADLY LIVING WORLD SOUNDS SIGHT ROBOT CONSPIRACY OF PYRAMID SCHEME ULTIMATE HELL WORLD DEATH CRIME. RIP BABIES FROM THE ARMS OF MOTHERS WHILE NURSING THE ERECTIONS OF ULTIMATE HELL WORLD SUPER KING COCK SOCKS. ASSHOLE FEEDING TUBES DELIVER PERFECT POISON INTRAVENOUSLY WHILE PAID SPOKESMAN BELCH RHYMING SALES PITCHES. NEVER WATCH BIG HERO 666 AGAIN. THE MORE PEOPLE WATCH IT, THE MORE DEATH OCCURS TO THE WORLD POPULATION.

SHOTA AND YAOI ISN'T GAY

YOU'VE REACHED THE NEAR END OF THIS. YOU SHOULD STILL HAVE ABOUT 2 MONTHS LEFT UNTIL YOU KILL YOURSELF. TALK TO AS MUCH PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE. BUT I'M DONE. IT'S OVER FOR ME. GOODBYE. ROCKS FELL DOWN AND EVERYONE DIED.

 **BUT WHO WAS PHONE?**


End file.
